Annual Conference Workshop: Restoration and Regulation
Life brings pain, stress, joy, and peace, and church leaders often find themselves carrying more than they realize. During Annual Conference 2026, Diane Owen, DK-MN Area Director of Clergy Well-being; Stephanie Moore, Mental Health Therapist; Rev. Sandee Prouty Cole, in extension ministry; and Bri Heida, Dakotas Conference Connector for Renewal, led participants in exploring practices for managing stress, increasing self-awareness, and finding restoration in the midst of life and ministry.
The session began by recognizing a simple reality: “Life is not always easy.” The presenters encouraged participants to consider how the experiences they encounter can affect both their emotional and physical well-being. Rather than trying to eliminate stress, the goal is to learn how to carry the load in healthy ways. “We're not here about fixing or removing stress, but it's about how to carry the load,” Owen explained.
One of the key concepts introduced was the difference between clean pain and dirty pain. Clean pain is the pain that belongs to us—the difficult experiences and events we are called to work through. Dirty pain, on the other hand, comes when we begin carrying the emotions, responsibilities, and outcomes that belong to someone else. This can be especially challenging for people in leadership who want to make sure things are done well.
Owen acknowledged that tendency, saying, “We want to do it well. We want ministry to happen. We do not want to miss a beat. If that means I've got to step in and make this happen, I'm going to do it,” while noting that continually stepping in for others can become over-functioning and ultimately contribute to burnout. When we carry more than is ours to carry, the accumulated stress can begin to “leak” into other areas of our lives and relationships.
Participants were encouraged to pay attention to the ways stress shows up in their own bodies and behaviors. The session emphasized that regulation begins with self-awareness and learning to recognize what is happening in the moment. “Regulation, calming our nervous system, begins with noticing,” Owen shared. Participants were then given time to journal and reflect on their own experiences, with the reminder that “the work begins with noticing, not fixing.”
Through conversation, reflection, and practical exercises, the session encouraged church leaders to develop greater awareness of what they are carrying, what belongs to them, and what they may need to release. The goal is not to avoid the difficult parts of ministry, but to develop practices that allow leaders to remain present, healthy, and able to show up as their whole selves.
